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17 February 2009 - 11:13 a.m. dear diary, the foster puppy went to her new home on thursday night. it was so sad. when the boyfriend and i were ready to leave her new family's home, the pup stood by the door, thinking she was going with us. her new "mom" had to pick her up and bring her to another room while we snuck out. we didn't even get to say goodbye. i guess that may have been for the best. i know i would have cried. we miss her, we really do. but we also like the calm that has returned to our house. my doggy especially likes having his bed and toys and attention back, all to himself. the boyfriend finished moving in on friday, and returned his apartment keys. so he is here to stay. on friday night we went to dinner at one of our favorite restaurants in town. earlier in the day, i had wrapped a mailbox key and garage key (he already has a house key) into a little box with a bow. during dinner i presented the box to him. as he opened the box, i said "welcome home, honey." he giggled and i could tell he was touched by my little welcoming gesture. unfortunately, the rest of the night didn't go so well. after dinner, we went to the pub for a couple drinks. then, when we got home, he preceded to drink six more beers. he doesn't drink often, but when he does, things never seem to go well. we end up fighting. on that night, he got mad at me because on my facebook page, i posted the status "caligirl is offically shackin' up." he thought that was derogatory, and questioned what our relationship means to me...blah, blah, blah. he totally blew things out of proportion, said some mean things, and went so far as to say maybe moving in was a mistake. i was so pissed. i went to bed and he slept in a chair in the living room all night. when he finally came to bed at 8am the next morning, he tried to act like nothing happened! i fucking hate when he does that, and i wasn't going to let this slip under the rug. we eventually talked it out. but in the back of my mind i don't wonder if this - him moving in - is a huge mistake.... on the valentines day... because i'm on a budget, my valentines present to him was small, but thoughtful. and of course, i topped it off with a nice card. he got me scratchers. yes, lottery tickets. at least they were valentine-themed, and i did win $18, so although not very romantic, at least i can use it. he didn't get me a card. he didn't have time with the move and all. later that day, when we went to costco, he got me a bouquet of flowers. i was standing in the checkout line, and he says, "i'll be right back." i knew where he was going...we'd walked by the crowded flower display while we were shopping, and i noticed his eyes looking that way. i didn't want to look. i felt sad and bad that i didn't even get flowers on valentines day. apparently, he felt bad, too. he made dinner for me that night. he makes dinner for me every night. i know i shouldn't feel bummed. i mean, valentines day is totally a cheesy hallmark holiday. i know he loves me, and he does nice things for me all the time. but i can't help feeling a little disappointed by valentines day. who doesn't want to feel appreciated - i mean, really appreciated? valentines day is a good day to show it. it was just like any other satuday...except i was still nursing my sadness over the fight we had the night before. it rained all weekened. i love the rain. i love staying home all day, snuggled up on the couch watching movies. but i can't help but wonder if this weekend was full of bad omens - the fight the night he moved in. the less than romantic valentines day. the rain. so much rain. are these all signs of what is to come? god, i hope not. cali |
have
you read these? i think i might be "with child" i miss the old times land of the lost...i mean, unemployed the tribe has spoken zapped |