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28 January 2009 - 10:54 a.m. dear diary, it's been almost three weeks now since i was laid off. since then, i have done virtually nothing to find a new job. i did; however, file for unemployment, and now have some paperwork to read through before i can start collecting my money. i'm glad that i'm finally getting to collect some small portion of the money i've pumped into the system all my working years. man, i have no motivation to do anything. the last couple of days i've had appointments - an eye doctor appointment one day, a dentist appointment the other. those appointments consumed my days; not literally, but one thing a day is just about all i seem to be able to handle. i feel guilty about all the time i'm wasting. some of my friends have tried convincing me that i should enjoy this time, take it easy, etc, etc. but i think the boyfriend's lecture (he told me he wasn't lecturing me, but i know he was) has caused me some major anxiety, "you might not find another job until 2010." i don't think i'm as worried about not making money as i am about not having purpose in my life. and as i typed those words i thought "why is it that a job has to give me purpose?" i've got a lot of things to figure out. i wonder if i need to go talk to a "professional"? i suppose i should get moving. it's 11:04am and i'm still sitting in my pjs, sipping cold coffee, consumed by thoughts of all the things i "should be doing." i don't get it. when i was working, i could have told you a hundred different things i would do with my time if i weren't stuck in an office. now that i have no job in my way, all i seem to be able to do is sit. and procrastinate. today's list: remind me never to think i could be a stay-at-home mom. i am quite certain that is not the life for me. cali |
have
you read these? even the unemployed have the monday blues as busy as unemployment gets life goes on beggars can't be choosers grateful for my great man |