16 June 2009 - 12:16 p.m.

dear diary,

yesterday afternoon's "annual" exam (about 10 years overdue) went just fine. i love my new primary care physician. she is totally smart and compassionate and super easy to talk to. she is a little younger than me, which is kind of weird. but i think she knows her stuff.

i can't believe how i let years and years of fears and insecurities prevent me from going to the doctor. doctors have seen and heard it all. i'm no special case.

i just feel so...relieved now. like i can breath easy again.

and then i remember i'm pregnant, and that life is going to change. forever.

i know boyfriend is feeling a lot of pressure to "provide". even though we both agreed that we could have the baby and still live in our one bedroom condo for at least the first year, he's been looking for a new place. it would be nice to have at least two bedrooms, but i just don't know how we'd be able to cut it right now. i mean, i guess if i sold my condo we could make it work, but i've always said that i never want to sell this condo. i love it, i love the location, and i love that it could be a lucrative rental property. boyfriend agrees with me, but when push comes to shove, i might have to change my plan for the sake of my new little family.

i told boyfriend we shouldn't make any quick decisions. first things first...we need to tell my parents that they'll be having a grandchild by year's end. who knows...maybe the p's will want to invest in a 2-3 bedroom townhouse so that they have a place to stay when they visit their grandchild.

we'll tell my parents in a couple weeks when we visit them in arizona.

in other news, i have a job interview on thursday afternoon, and i am so not excited or ready for it. i suppose i need to suck it up. this is the only interview i've got lined up, and in light of the current situation, i guess i should be excited about whatever job (and salary) i might be able to rake in between now and december. what if the job is offered to me? when do i tell them i'm pregnant? i feel sneaky about it, but i don't think i should tell them immediately. maybe after a month of being there; after i've proved my value.

life sure can be tricky, can't it?

cali

previous - next

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