13 January 2009 - 11:35 a.m.

dear diary,

my dream (some peoples biggest nightmare) came true on friday.

i got laid off!!!

over the last few months, i could see my path shooting down a funnel, of sorts, and was beginning to feel like i was being sucked down that big, black hole at the bottom of the funnel. and i realized i had two choices: quit or wait for them to lay me off. (i guess my third choice was to look for another job while i was still working, but honestly, i worked late every night, and i just couldn't motivate myself to job-hunt on weekends.)

i knew lay offs were coming. i mean, who isn't laying-off? lay-offs are the new black, the new 30, the new "in thing" to be doing these days. plus, the parent company which acquired my shit-hole little company last year took full control on january 1.

it was bound to happen.

my lay off was in no way connected to my performance. it was clearly budget-driven. my manager and the HR guy made sure i knew this much.

my teary-eyed manager told me this was not her decision, this was not what she wanted, i am awesome (uh, yea...because i did all the fucking work and made her look awesome), blah, blah, blah...

is it bad that i was BEAMING from the moment i was informed my job was being eliminated? am i a terrible person for feeling amazing and liberated and wanting to jump up and down right there in the office as i cleaned out the personal belongings remaining in my cube? (in anticipation of a january layoff, i cleared out much of my personal belongings in december.)

i get 5 weeks severance (not great). and they'll reimburse me for 3 months of COBRA (good). and of course, i can collect unemployment for, what, 6 months? assuming the governor hasn't put a freeze on unemployment insurance payouts.

i'll be ok. i've already submitted my resume to a job at a local university. and i feel this time - much more than last time, when i quit my job - that i don't want to stay out of the game for too long (if i and the market can help it.)

and in the meantime, i am fostering a puppy, and have a list of about 10 different projects i'd like to get done around here.

i'm pretty lucky. so many people FEAR the dreaded lay-offs. i managed to position myself in a way that i could afford to be laid off. not that i want to keep pillaging my life savings!

man, i am going to miss my six figure salary...

god giveth and god taketh away.

what are ya gonna do?

cali

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have you read these?

big, fat mess
22 January 2009

going wireless
20 January 2009

crossroads upon crossroads
17 January 2009

fucker
16 January 2009

naptime
14 January 2009